Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
