pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
