she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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