I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
