We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
