So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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