I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
