thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
