Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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