You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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