Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
