so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
