Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
