quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
