In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
