If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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