hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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