You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I am mentally ready for anal.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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