She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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