moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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