Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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