I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
