butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I'm like, not good at living.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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