I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
