I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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