Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
