I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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