Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
