Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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