She's JV to your varsity
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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