5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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