I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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