I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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