I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
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