and you said cock pushups were impossible
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
