There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
