The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
