I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
