Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
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