Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
