Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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