Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
