So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
