I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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