the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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