Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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