how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
