Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Randomize
