yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Someone signed my nipple.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
