You work out of a Hotel?
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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