so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
