why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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