I CAN MOONWALK!
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Randomize
