That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize