i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
