I got her a Nickelback box set.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
last night I used snow as a chaser
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
