BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
