it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
