Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
