Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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