i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
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