Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
