my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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