Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
