My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
