I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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