Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Sacagawea was the original milf.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize