i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
