just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
